Interviewing the Messenger

Before I show you all the transcript of Messi's interview, I have a few things to say. First of all, he's nearly as infuriating to interview as my former 'victims' have been, including Peter. I'll go ahead and admit that I used the oppurtunity to perv on yet another proxy, and I have no qualms saying so. With all of that mentioned, I'd also like to say that you have to read between the lines... quite a bit to salvage the purpose of this interview. I got what I wanted, and I know what I need to for the next step in my.. -ahem- work. Go ahead and have fun with this guys, I have some things I have to do.

Messi: All right, I'm here. Happy now?

Me: A little. It depends on what you have to say. Not to mention that I expected more of a fight. I live with people who legitimately belong in an asylum. I have more fights than I know what to do with. I just want to get this over with so you stop fucking nagging me about it. Fine, fine, jeez. You ought to treat your fangirls better, you might get better reviews, love.
How's your finger? For that matter, how's the situation with Screwtape?

Messi: Fuck you is how it is. Yes, I'm still bitter about the whole "shipping" thing.

Me: Aww, now see, there's that fighting spirit. I was asking seriously, for the record. Why so bitter? I was at least nice and shipped you with myself, all the others shipped you in some kind of gangbang or kinky homosexual relationship.

Messi: Oh, yes. I suppose I should thank you for being very slightly saner than everyone else. But the finger's healing. Slowly. And I haven't seen Screwtape since. We don't interact that often.

Me: That's why I suggested Skype to begin with, so you wouldn't have to type so damn much. Would it kill you to be nice about it? As for Screwtape.. I'd have thought he'd be shoved right where the sun didn't shine, trying to preach or show you the error of your ways. Would it kill you to be nice about it?

Messi: How considerate. I'm so grateful.

Me: This is eerily similar to the irritation I got from Kk. -sigh- He hasn't contacted you since the incident about Eternity?

Messi: Nope. Sort of been lying low. I have, not him. He's just been working.

Me: Sorry homicidal bastard ought to take a bullet between the eyes. -ahem- Alright... have you heard from Poe? Any idea what she's up to these days? Last I heard, she was still struggling with the former Hallowed situation. I don't think that situation is something she's ever going to stop struggling with.


Messi: Apart from that, it seems like she's okay. She's just been kind of distant. Pretty sure I mentioned that in my last post. Like I did with the finger and Screwtape situation. I mean, if you're just going to ask things I've already answered, I don't really think I have time for this.

Me: I just barely had the chance to read your post before I posted mine, forgive me for not paying attention to your being an asshole AGAIN. So I'll tell ya what, let's do it a different way this time. I'll sit back and perv on your voice for a while. You, you'll tell me YOUR side of the story. You'll get the chance to tell me what you want people to know. You get the chance to say whatever you want this time, and I'll ask questions as we go. Is that good enough for you, your Highness Messi?

Messi: You know, most people decide to either bitch at someone or hit on them. Y'know, one or the other. Do you have issues you'd like to discuss?

Me: I like to do both. I hope you don't mind, I'm a bitch and a perv and damn, I can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time too! I'd like to hear about your feelings about Eternity, and your feelings towards Poe (don't lie, I'll know), and hell... if you still really even like your job anymore. Plus, whatever you'd like to talk about.


Messi: ...all right, then. Let's see here. Gimme a sec.

Me: I'll wait, then.

Messi: Eternity...is a prick. He's conceited, self-absorbed, and worst of all, he knows that he's completely untouchable. Don't know if he's lying or not. No reason to suspect he is, but Poe and Screwtape both seem convinced he's exaggerating. As for what it means for me...I don't know. I'm not about to take a chance and jump ship just yet.

Me: He sounds a touch like you, minus the untouchable part. I believe you're still mortal, eh? Do you think Poe and Screwtape know something you don't?

Messi: They know plenty of things I don't. They've been around a lot longer.

Me: -sigh- Have you tried ASKING them why they're so convinced, or have you just been doing the lone wolf schtick and not bothering?

Messi: Laying low. Not playing lone wolf. There's a difference.

Me: So I'll take that as a no, then. Alright, go on. It's your story you're telling right now, after all.

Messi: That was it, really. Thoughts on Eternity...um...you wanted thoughts on my job, right?

Me: On your job, on your relationship with Poe, on whether you'll be alive a year from now, how your brother's doing... you know. The usual.

Messi: My job is about the same as it has been. Long, grueling process. Have to try a lot of different methods for a lot of different blogs. And hey, it it's keeping my brother safe, I'll keep doing it.My brother's fine. He and his friends are working on one of those vlogs. They're working on recording it now, but they don't plan on posting it until its done. He's showed me a few clips. Seems okay. Pretty obviously fake, though.

Me: Sounds like about as much of a pain in the ass as my job is, to be honest. I hate to say this... but I'm personally just waiting for someone to feel offended, betrayed, or whatever and hurt him. What would you do if that happened, love?

Messi: I...really haven't thought about that.

Me: You're serious? Out of all the people that will or do want to kill you, you haven't thought of what will happen if you lose your brother? Isn't he the only reason you got into this mess to begin with?

Messi: Look. Even if I had thought it over, what sort of answer do you expect from me? You want to know if I'll "flip" or something?

Me: What you would do? Would you kill, would you have some revenge, would you stop working for the Slender man, would you even care? What drives you day to day besides out of protection over your brother? I have my reasons, of course, but I want to know what YOURS are, and I suppose... I want to know what you haven't already told us so far.

Messi: I'm caught in the middle of a gang war here, and both sides have their eyes on me. Do you honestly think I'm going to say "oh, yeah, I'm totally going on the run" when the people I'm supposed to be loyal to are right here? Do you think I'm going to say "nope, staying put" when I've got a whole bunch of runners who want my head for selling out?

Me: -sigh- Messi, love, I care more about the reasons why more than I do about the answers themselves. I want to know what you haven't written. I want to know something personal, something that isn't just your being an asshole so I'll shut up and go away. I've dealt with too many thickheaded people to leave it at the 2-D answers. Just give me something, Messi.

Messi: What, to sell myself out to one side or another? You're trying to play grey yourself. You should understand why I can't say anything.

Me: No! Oh for fuck's sake, you're deliberately being obtuse now.

Messi: Except you can't, because you don't have people installing cameras in your aparment. It's not a matter of being vague to be obtuse, it's a matter of being vague for my own sake. Do you know how hard it is to walk this line? To constantly have people mistrusting you? Not knowing how much of what you're doing is real and how much is a lie?

Me: Oh, no, of course not. I only have some fucktwit following me, sending me pictures I'm in that I have absolutely no memory of, and I'm in a damn near constant walking nightmare. Okay? I have no idea which side I ought to be on, nor do I want to choose either!  I'll wind up dead either way, so why don't you do me a favor and work with me a little?! I DO get it. I do. I want to hear about you and what YOU have to say. If you don't have anything else to say or ask or answer, then say so and I'll be done trying to be nice to you!

Messi: Heh. Looks like we've got more in common than I thought, huh? You can understand, though, can't you? Why I'm hesitant to say anything where the whole world can see it?

Me: Of course I can. You're one of the few that made me feel like I could be a Grey hat to begin with. I don't want to see you sell yourself out. That is the opposite of what I'm looking for. I want to know about
Messi, about what drives you. It's supposed to be impossible to be in the middle, to keep your mouth shut and hope you don't die in your sleep.

I have no clue if what I'm doing is right, or even if it's real, or I'm just dreaming all of this and I'll wake up in an asylum in the morning. I understand, sweetheart... just give me SOMETHING to work with. For all I care, you can ask about me. But I worked too damn hard to give up on an interview I've been asking for for months without at least trying my best at it!

Messi: You want something? All right, I'll give you something. Listen to what I've said. You hear all that? I'm not doing nearly as well as I say I am. I have not had good sleep for months, because of all the fucking nightmares. I don't know how much of what I'm doing is real, and how much is a lie. And it's not even The Boss that's doing all this. I've seen him maybe five times. It's all the stress of working with fucking psychos. It's not knowing if I'm making the right choice.

Me: Then you are right. We truly do have more in common than we should. My question is... what are you going to do about it?

Messi: And the one person I can trust isn't even the person she used to be anymore. Stick it out, I guess. You're asking me about a hypothetical situation that I can't honestly answer at this point.

Me: Poe?

Messi: No, the knife-crazy teen who thinks her life is an anime is the one I can trust. Of course it's Poe.

Me: If it were Nee-chan, then I truly would be worrying for your mental health. I suppose... let me know when you can answer that 'hypothetical question' of mine. Was there anything else you'd like to say at this point?

Messi: Anything else you'd like to ask at this point?

Me: The best I can ask is.. would you at least try to stop being so fucking prickly? You'd have more allies than you think if you'd stop that defense mechanism bullshit.

Messi: Probably a bad idea. Getting close to my co-workers is something I'd prefer to do, and making friends with runners is probably a bad idea. Besides, they're all hypocrites anyway. Why would I want to make friends with them?

Me: You make me want to facedesk. repeatedly. What about myself? Am I really that terrible of an idea you can't even consider it? Also, for the record, I AM a hypocrite, and at least I'll admit it. It doesn't mean I wouldn't be willing to help you if you needed it.

Messi: You...interest me. That's about as close as I'll get to any of you people, and it's still a bit too close. Schrodinger interested me, and all that solved was that the fact that I hadn't cried like a bitch while writing any reports.

Me: -laughs- I'll have to settle, then. My latest post has been edited, and the 'interview' of ours should be up as soon as I'm finished being lazy and feel like transcribing this.

Messi: Anything else you wanted to ask me?

Me: Unless you're willing to say anything more that would be off the record, that should be it.

Messi: All right. Then I've got a question for you.

Me: Sure, whatever'll make ya happy, Messi.

Messi: How are you still "grey" after the whole David incident?

Me: Because the whole David incident isn't the only painful event in my life, nor is it my only experience with people that could destroy me or my beliefs. I'm certainly not changing who I am because one fucktarded proxy with a switchblade got a hold of me, though I certainly have a few scars from it.

Messi: Hmm. Well. I probably would have made my choice after that, if it were me.

Me: It's incredibly easy for me to care for people, no matter the side they are on. We all have something we're fighting for, or protecting, whether it's ourselves, our survival, our pleasure, or the people we love. I can't bring myself to blame anyone for that. The incident did however teach me to be a little more careful, and maybe a little less naive about the nature of people.

Messi: Well, that's all I had to ask.

Me: ...alright then. I suppose that's it, Messi. Arrivederci?

Messi: Yeah, what the hell ever. We done here?

Me: -cursing- You're still such a fucking jackass, no matter what, eh? Yes. We're done here, thank fucking god.

And thus, he hung up on me. I proceeded to rant and curse, and I'm considering giving up the interviewing schtick. I'm simply not in the mood to piss off any more people on the Darker side of things. Maybe if I interviewed someone that has a little more sunshine in their life? Eh, fuck it. New post up soon.