Explanations

Alright, it's time to explain a few things. The night we came home, we found Gallows and Graves standing outside, just goofing off. He held up my wallet,and something snapped. I was suddenly tired of them all. I brought home two to mend and heal, and what did I find? Two more! Proxies, asking me to do the same. Not because they needed it. But because they wanted to fuck with my head. Because they knew I couldn't tell them no. I've never been able to tell someone no if they needed me, even if they were lying about why. Well... I confess. I ranted, I raved, and I may have been a bit of a bitch.

I stormed inside to cool off, and only re-emerged when i thought I'd be safe around knives and firearms. To my surprise, I found Josie had made an extremely late dinner, and everyone was sitting together, talking. Waiting for me, and getting along. Everyone was at least acting happy, with minimal stabbing attempts. I couldn't believe it. I think, honestly, i was shocked into keeping my mouth shut. That would become the "normal" for the time my, ahem, friends came to stay with me. Anyway. What have I observed since then? We went to sleep that night with no major fighting.

I woke to find myself spooning with a man. Can you guess who? Fucker wouldn't let me go at first, it wound up taking thirty minutes of bickering to spy him loose. Apparently, my bed is much more comfortable than the couch. Go figure. Shady threw a knife at him when he suggested sleeping with her. Graves... apparently doesn't sleep much, and simply stands at the window staring at... Something. Or somethings. She still won't tell me what she sees out there, not yet. And Josie, well, Josie cried when Gallows suggested it to her. Can you blame her? She would have been his constant pincushion, and I don't know how much bleeding she could handle. We only have so much blood, yes? Breakfast came and went. After a diet of "long pig,"(human flesh)..

Josie's pancakes must have been a bit foreign for G&G. She cooked. And cleaned. And tried to keep up all pretty happy. It was frankly amusing watching her try to make herself invisible, hiding in plain sight by making herself useful. I don't need a maid. She's my friend, she legitimately has the most right to be here. I wish she wouldn't be so scared all the time... more on her in a minute. Shady came in looking exhausted, her eyes red and bloodshot, her hair mussed and limp-looking. (What the hell, people? I have a shower! Fucking use it! I'm not some kind of monster...) She looked like she hadn't slept, like she had been crying the whole night long. People dying left and right, pain and destruction and betrayal... I pretended I didn't see.

Oh, that reminds me of what made me cancel my last post, the Advy one? I'd been typing from my cell after she pulled over to the side of the road. I glanced up near the end, and noticed she had left the car. She walked like a wraith to the treeline, and I began to worry. Unfortunately, I began typing as fast as I could, if all of my followers couldn't tell. At the very end, well, I heard her start screaming. Once, twice, then this constant banshee scream. She scared me more it that moment than she had at any time in the past. I cursed quite a bit to myself as well, I hadn't been paying attention. In lieu of our computers, we had each been.taking out our cell phones to check on the blogs. And well... the situations with people dying, and making... stupid mistakes, I should have realized, affected Shady more than I had thought.

All this was coming to me as she began to walk back towards me. I pushed "send" probably at least twenty times, and tucked it back in my jeans. I ducked down and pretended to be asleep maybe a minute before she got back to the car. It....didn't exacctly work. I think she knew I was faking, but for whatever reason didn't call me on it. By the way, Josie snores. I don't know how that'll "help" anyone, but she does. After breakfast our first morning, Shady hauled Josie outside and started "training" her in my back yard. Thank god for privacy fences and living in front of the woods, or I'd have been constantly worrying about the neighbors.

Josie was worse than I am. I at least know how to load and shoot a gun under pressure. Josie knew absolutely nothing about blocking or dodging, very little about when to run. I think... Shady got fed up at some point. Josie wasn't really trying, and Shady.. doesn't put up with bullshit. At all. She started goading Josie, something about being able to kill her parents but being unable to defend herself? "How pathetic." Josie, she snapped. She hauled off and punched Shady in the face. She acted damn near fucking possessed there for a minute. Then, she was right back to normal, switch flipped and panicking over whether her sparring partner was alright. Shady, she just snorted and threw her back a few feet. G&G glanced over from their own training off to the side to watch the commotion, and I realized something watching all of them.

I would be the least knowledgeable Fighter out there. It was enough to make me break out into a cold sweat. I wasn't sure who was best.. Graves, or Shady. Shady, who had no formal training that I knew of, could fight like she was fighting for her life. Maybe at that point, that's what shewas used to. She couldn't afford to get sloppy when she was fighting for all the reasons she was. And Graves.. Jesus. She was like a machine. A deadly, scarred, somehow beautiful machine. Even gallows gave her no issues. She could sidestep everything he could throw her way, and look bored while she was doing it. Why was she following HIM if she could so easily best him? It scared me. My mortality was so obvious to me then.. I ran. I wasn't running anywhere for certain, just AWAY. Then.. someone caught me. I'll explain what happened with that... later.

All of these posts, I've had saved in my blogger. Waiting for the day I could get to a computer, and type up what happened to me. To explain more of my dreams, and my beliefs, and... well, to start making it easier for other people to understand what was happening to me. I wasn't ready for anyone to know what had happened until after.. after I broke that radio. Something isn't right in my home, on my land, and I have a few suspicions as to what's causing that. Again, more on that later. I am... much better than I was before, thanks to my wonderful house guests. (Only minor sarcasm, here.) They've... been helping me so much. Much more has happened since all of these posts I've suddenly flooded the newsfeed with, but this.. is all I'm ready to share right now. No one needs to worry. Shady, and possibly the others will be telling their stories soon.

Still no ability to comment, or to really have any conversations outside of these posts. I stayed off for a reason. But, well.. just, soon. That's all I can promise. Email me at ritsuka.kairos@gmail.com if you need me (or want to talk), or need to discuss with me what I can't post yet. I'll answer there what I won't here.